3.08.2006

The Banana Gospel

Being a resident of the United States of America, I have come to realize that I have been eating a banana the wrong way my entire life and you may have too. I was “enlightened” by some friends from the Ukraine who brought me their “Banana Gospel.” When I first heard about it, I was shocked and resistant claiming “pfft! Yeah right.” (I didn’t take debate in High School, so that’s the extent of my rebuttals) Even though I didn’t like bananas, I found myself wondering about it. “Could it be? Have I been wrong all this time?” I dared myself to think this way, because I really had nothing to lose.

The banana gospel is simple. “Peel it from the other end.” Yet the profound truth of this is deeper than what you first realize. “Peel it from the other end??” you may say. “That’s ludicrous! Everyone knows that the stubby end of the banana is one of the most hardest materials nature has ever devised! … Right?” For illustrative purposes, I took the following pictures in my cubicle with a free camera that came with an Office Depot order. Pictures will help and it's too bad I didn't have a camera during my orange episode.
This is my banana, I’ll call him “Chuckles”

Besides the odd shape and structure, the banana has a lot of valuable nutrients and can taste really good with peanut butter. I heard that some people like to put them in the freezer. But recipes are not to be discussed here.

Nature’s pull tab? Or convenient handle? The Truth may shock you!

As tempting as it is to pull that stem, it is wrong. How many times have you peeled a banana that wasn’t cooperating and you wound up mashing up the top? Granted, this doesn’t happen all the time, but it’s enough to make you say “I’d like a banana but why go to the trouble?” There is hope.

Behold the stubby end, largely ignored by Western Civilization

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always regarded this part of the banana as inaccessible. Why? Because I assumed it was due to being raised to open bananas from the stem. I never once thought “out of the box” to see that maybe … just maybe … there was another way. It took someone from the other side of the planet to show me the way.
“Just what do you do now?” I’m glad you asked. The stubby end can be peeled by your own fingers, like an orange but without any squirting juice. “HUH??” is what I usually get as a reply after I say this – like I largely shook a vital truth. It’s okay, I had the same reaction.

“Aigh what are you doing?? You’re messing with my head!”

Now since, I’m taking my own pictures in secret, I have to do this one handed. I recommend two hands for more efficiency. As you can see, the stubby end is giving away easily. “Stop! Isn’t this against the law??”

You will quickly see that this is working out really want to share the idea with another Perhaps you’ll want to buy a banana of your own to try it out. You can name it whatever you want.

Chuckles the Banana in mid-peel

Observe: No floppy stem to deal with…


…and Looky! A nice little handle for easy cleanup!

I know there are some of you who probably are saying “So what? I’ve done it that way forever!” Good! But, you are rare – at least in my experience. Everyone I’ve come in contact with has peeled it the by the stem. Some even have gone to say “yeah, right! Whatever…” as if I was trying to deceive them.
I’m pretty sure that cartoons from the 30s and 40s depict the “banana peel slip” gag with a banana peel like above, but I don’t have that research with me. However, pictures of bananas in video games such as Super Mario Kart have a banana as such:

and in others...

And we never question it.

I showed my grandmothers, parents, in-laws and friends this technique and they all looked like they never saw a banana before. A new world was open before them. Some refused this new teaching, some accepted it but have no real use for it since they hated bananas, but to some it has forever changed their banana peeling habits.

That’s the power of Truth.

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