On fire!

Certain denominations of my faith require me not to dance. Okay, “require” isn’t the right word. “Strongly suggest” is more appropriate. The suggestion is to protect the appearance of lewdness or inappropriate closeness to a member of the opposite gender wherein the dancer would stumble ..nay, bootscoot into debauchery.
That’s a mighty presupposition considering my attractibility of females is roughly “0”
– and that’s rounding up.
I would rather submit that this prohibition to dance is more of a protection to not embarrass oneself. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the plea to not dance is more of a “You don’t know how to - so stop it.” If I were to let it all hang out I would most likely start dancing like this:

I call this dance: “Aigh! Getemoffahme”

True. It’s not as shrewd or sophisticated as two musical artists as depicted below:

But, as you can see, if you were to try any of these moves, you would simply just draw attention to yourself – not a good attention either. I realize I can’t dance, nor do I enter environments that, when certain conditions are met, give me no choice but to dance. However, should that occasion occur, where I would have to “eat meat sacrificed to idols” so-to-speak, I have my dance move picked out that can be safely performed with minimal disturbance off in the corner without breaking local social customs:

Whoo! I’ll be impressin’ the lady-types!

Maybe I’ll just stick to sliding on linoleum in socks.

1 comment:

Kepi said...

I kinda like the "Dive" bounce! :P