5.03.2006

Read the Directions

Once upon a time, long ago, I worked for a man that I really wanted to respect. The problem was that he kept making bone-headed decisions. First, I want to say that the decisions were boneheaded. I’m not here to make judgment calls on character. I'm here to be sorta funny. Yes, it’s a thin line between saying “You’re a buffoon” and “You’re acting like a buffoon,” but you have to admit that the defense is pretty thick in technicality … no matter the level of buffoonery.

Anyways, I wanted to bring an event to mind that will serve the general public:

“Read the directions.”

When you buy Rain-X or some other windshield film polish-type-stuff, apply it to your windshield. Do not pour it into your washer fluid container.

Did this actually happen? Probably to someone out there. Did it happen to the man who did boneheaded things? Maybe, but the exchange went like this:

Setting: Two men traveling to a trade show in a van. It’s raining. It is roughly 2 hours before the younger man realizes he is going to watch the older man buy socks.

Older Man: Man, it’s really coming down. You can hardly see
Younger Man: Yeah, I keep thinking about getting some Rain-X for my car
Older Man: Ugh! That stuff is terrible. It gummed up my hoses and I had to get the unit replaced
Younger Man: (Silently processes this statement for years to come)

The lesson here is:

Read the directions and keep sock buying a private matter – otherwise your future decisions will be considered boneheaded.

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