6.24.2006

YAWN

Sleep. Sleep is probably one of the greatest inventions ever. The ability to just collapse and snore with great gusto and relax into the realm of REM is most enjoyable - except for the spouse who is still awake and has to endure your arrival in Grinding Hippo Bones-land.

The miracle of sleep is lost on many. Insomniacs, as they are known, have trouble getting to the blissful state of sounding like a chainsaw cutting through chilled pig fat down a cement well. It must be terrible for them not knowing how easily sound like an elephant caught in giant rubber muzzle while being poked with pontoon boats.

It's important to always get the right amount of hours of rest. Some require 8, some 10, others 6 - but if you require 12, I suggest you start on caffiene. The amount of sleep I need depends, not on the quantity, but on when I start or stop. If I go to sleep at 11, I can get up at 4am and be fine (though I don't want to try that, let's keep that in theory)

As for snoring, there is a simple cure - go to sleep before your mate. Do you what you can to beat the person that sounds like a yak giving birth to bagpipes in a sheet metal factory.

You'll be glad you did.

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