2.23.2006

Vacation vs. Holiday - Where do you want to leave today?

Of the many similar-yet-not concepts with our British-like folks across “the pond,” as it were, is the phrase “Holiday.” Here in the states, this is a term reserved for national holidays ranging from Gargantuan Festive Feast known aka Thanksgiving (a two-day-er at that too!) to the more obscure “Columbus Day” where you still have to go to work but the banks and post offices are closed to increase annoyance.
“Holidays” as they are known here, are celebrated the evening before so you can sleep in unless you are “active” and prefer doing odd jobs and chores until it’s time to start the charcoal grill/Oven/George Foreman Grill.
Over in England, also known as land of the Engs, and in other British-type colonies this term refers to the American word, “Vacation.” In sweet sing-songy voices they say “I’m going on Holiday” and they go across the planet to some remote exotic location like the Amazon or Toledo and suck the marrow out of it. Here, in the states, we take vacations. The very nature of its name proves that we do not know how to relax as a nation. Just look at it:

Vacation

Obviously, it takes it name from the root “Vacate.” That said, the word pretty much states that it doesn’t matter where you go as long as you vacate your current surroundings.
“Where are you going for your vacation?”
“Does it matter? I just won’t be here.”
“True! Hanging out at home, eh?”
“Pretty much, I’ll probably check my email half-hourly.”
(Enter Boss)
“Riley! Your on Vacation, you must vacate … NOW!”

So, basically, we Americans are left to watch commercials for cruise lines that contain “hints” on how to have fun. I believe after a couple more generations, we’ll be so job/career focused, that the simple pleasures will be viewed as antiquated head-scratching customs such as “beating-the-bounds”*

“You mean, I can go into the water”
“Absolutely…”
“Why…”
“…uh”
Baby steps America, take baby steps …

*It’s not worth it to describe

2.15.2006

Defending your opinion? Too bad!

I made this image to serve as a reminder. The internet is not really a place to prove your point. Don’t get me wrong, it is a place to state your point – along with everyone else and their little dogs too. While many sites seem to thrive on controversy – when people start airing their opinions, that is all that will happen. Plain old opinionnn...airing.

You won’t see the following posts anywhere on forums after someone rebuttals a long discourse of opinion…

“You’re right. My bad…”
“Oh, I understand, I was wrong”
“No kidding? Huh, I had it all backward”

Want opinions on military intelligence? Creationism vs Evolution? Looking for an excellent programmer, but confused whether he should be fluent in Ajax or should he just be C++? Did that grilled cheese sandwich with Mary’s image really have any significance? Are Republicans too fat and Liberals too wonky? Was asbestos flavored asbestos really needed for asbestosly designed products or was it just a fad?

Sure, there’s a lot of questions, but I want you to understand that while there are myriads of opinion-toting personages out there, you can be rest assured that this site … in some fashion, updated once a week … will try to sift through heady arguments, by completely ignoring them.

This site will make every effort support phrases along the lines of “I once carbonated a peanut” or “I have detailed plans for creating ninja stars out of cotton swabs, I’m pretty sure they will bounce off my wife's head with no ill effect.”*

Sillybear Inc. is here for your comfort, your enjoyment and your weekly “what the heck was that?” 100% original, clean and almost funny.



*Hey! I love my wife. It's a cottonswab ninja star! I would never throw anything sharp at her. Ever. You people are weird.

2.07.2006

Conspiracy abounds!


Yes, I made this image to prep the world for the DaVinci Code movie-thing coming out. I couldn't resist really. I'm not one for hot topic debates, because ... well, this is Sillybear Inc. after all!
...and if you don't get the image, you should really rent "A Christmas Story."
Cheeri-o!

2.02.2006

The New America

I have taken it upon myself to redesign America. No, I’m not talking about Legislative or Capitalistic Social what-have-yous, I’m taking about the map of the United States (and Commonwealths) of America. Look at the mess down below:



Wow. So many curves and jagged edges all over. It looks like the further West they went, the wiser they got, but were afraid of redoing the earlier work. Now don’t give me all that about rivers and mountains and population, if Americans have a right to speak their mind, they have a right to live in adequately spaced and proportional states (and commonwealths.)

Now, let’s begin:


First, let’s just combined that whole Northeastern section into one state. Do we really need Rhode Island by itself? It's smaller than my morning commute! Can’t Vermont and New Hampshire get along? Of course they can! So, here is our new state of … New England. The postal code can be NE and we’ll change Nebraska’s to NA. That shouldn’t confuse many.

Let’s move on…


Allright, this is an easy one.

The Problem: Panhandles.

The Solution: Oklahoma has gotten away with this for too long. We’ll give Texas the extra bit (because you don’t mess with Texas, that’s what I hear on the street anyway) and will cut off Florida’s and divvy it up between neighbors. This is looking promising. On to the next!


Okay, here we straighten out the lines set up earlier to be a little neater. The proposed “purple” state will be economical since only 100 people live in this area anyway. Although, I’m starting to think that even the Purple state (PS for the postal code) isn’t very shapely. Even Texas is starting to look really unflattering.

I can see where this is going. Even if I do organize the borders into respectable squares, we have the natural boundaries of the continent that throw the whole scheme off. Stupid oceans!

Allright, the best way to deal with this is to organize a large scale landfill into the Atlantic, Pacific and Gulf of Mexico to fill out the rough boundaries until a result as such is achieved:


There! Perfectly edged and everyone can literally have, “their own corner” of the world.Here is a proposed satellite shot of the New USA:


The unevenness is a result of the oceanic erosion and the curvature of the earth, but do not fear, there are plans underway to fix that issue as well:


We’ll just find more dirt somewhere else.