Modern Armor of God 2

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
I made this cuz I could. I could be taking liberties with the original Greek, though.

And a movie clip for all you animated gif haters.


Shamgar, the greatest Judge of Israel?

Not much is known about Shamgar. He gets one verse in the Bible with little back-story, but one thing is known.

Don't mess with him.

The story of Shamgar comes after a huge epic of sneakery and stabby prose of my main man, Ehud. While the story of Ehud is gripping and capable of modern Hollywood interpretation (shh! Don't give them any ideas!), Ehud still only killed one guy. Yes, he could have killed more that King Eglon, but it's not recorded.

Shamgar is different.

Almost thrown in as a "deleted scene," in the hopefully-not-to-be-made-into-a-movie book of Judges. Shamgar is mentioned as a son of some other dude, (yeah okay), who struck down six hundred Philistines (oh yeah?) with an oxgoad. He too saved Israel. (wait, backup..)

An oxgoad is a wooden pole with a sharp point. An oxgoad could be as long as 10 feet. So, suddenly we see that Shamgar in a new light.

I think "The Message" translates this verse as "And then this guy grabbed a pole and went all "matrix" over those Philly guys. Man, you should have seen it."

Another aspect to the story is that it just ends. We're left to assume that Shamgar didn't give interviews. He simply saw what he needed to do, did it and then went back to work - presumably goading oxes. The others most likely kept their distance, fearing that the nice guy in the field will snap again or something.

He would serve well in a line of Biblical trading cards.


Rich Kid thrown in Jail

This kid was thrown in jail for being a jerk. It looks like he got bailed out of his actions most of his life. This judge finally throws the book at him. The photos were to priceless so i made a comic strip out of them.

The Psalms: God's Mix Tape Part 2 ... Side B?

Ok, I mentioned in my last blog that the Psalm express emotions even "hit-him-again" anger. Before you string me up for thinking that the Bible could NEVER portray images other than fluffy clouds and little bunnies giggling in the grass I offer Psalm 3:7

7 Arise, O LORD!
Deliver me, O my God!
Strike all my enemies on the jaw;
break the teeth of the wicked.

Nothing is more fun that for a guy to watch a movie where the enemy gets his "just desserts." People like to see the enemy take a fall and cheer on the hero. For those who think God doesn't have that side to him doesn't know how hardcore he really can be and should read that one part where he strikes down everyone with the words of his mouth... and yes, that's in the New Testament.


The Psalms: God's Mix Tape

I used to make mix tapes for a few select people. Yes, I may date myself by saying that I made mix tapes and not burned CDs, but there's a common theme.


The Psalms are God's mix tape for us to play on the journey. Luckily, this compilation doesn't include "Journey," but you get my point.

The Psalms are full of love, anger, woe-is-me, hit-him-again type tracks. King David - the shepherd king - wrote a lot of these and could play musical instruments and "git down and dance."

This means that David was the ancient equivalent of that automobile kid that could wail a guitar and became an eccentric leader - kind of like an Israelite Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen. It is of my opinion that "Selah" means "lyre solo." I think King David jammed on a wicked solo during a praise song that rocked and concluded "Thank You, Jerichooooo!" before smashing the instruments as a sacrifice to God.

Even though we lost the music of the Psalms, ("Doe of the Morning" must have been a huge hit), the lyrics survive. Luckily, the lyrics mean a lot more to a general populace than the Christian Music lyrics I listened to in the 90s.

I leave you with the lyrics of "More to Life" from Micheal Knott

"Sink the ship and save your hair
Thousands drown yet you're still breathing
From a lifeboat you won't share
Kick me out although there is room to spare
Death to your family it's still a joke to me
And when you finally reach the shore
You'll say there is something more"

uh ... who in the what now?