6.11.2008

How to sleep in a non-sleeping enviroment

Sometimes working long hours can bring fatigue during the day that would be handled easily with a little nap. However, your employer expects you to be awake. Not only are you expected to be awake; but showered, clothed and ready to do something profitable. But what about that fatigue?

Fortunately, you have 2 options. You can inflict harmful amounts of amino acids and sugars upon your heart with a variety of energy drinks, or you can get the rest you need while appearing awake. Impossible, you say? Well, nay-sayer, read on! How to be appear awake while not being awake at all. Credit is due to Calvin & Hobbes for this...

Here's what you need:

Two ping pong balls

Velcro

Sticky-Tack

1. Cut the ping-pong balls in half


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Most Ping-Pong balls have logos on them, so that's why you need two.

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"Ta-daaaa!"


2. Cut out two circles from a strip of velcro


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Or you can make a Zorro mask for your pet hamster


3. Attach circles with sticky-tack

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Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? But you need to test it out to make sure it looks convincing enough.


The First Test (Initial placement)

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Hmmm. Looking kind of psychotic here. Needs readjusting...


The Second Test (Adjust the focusing of the eyes)

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Perfect. It looks like I just pounded a 4-pack of Red Bull.

The Third Test (body positioning)

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Excellent! I look like I'm really into the P & L auditing of a 10 year old spreadsheet!

Remember, your posture helps with the illusion.

Road Test

Here, I maybe getting an ingenius idea on how to market pig's fat as a diet food


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Oops.


Remember. You may have to strap yourself into a chair to keep your posture in a more convincing "awake-looking" stance otherwise they may think you died.


To avoid the inevitable backlash or unemploymentness, it might serve you well just to go to bed early.

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